Story of Nachiketa Installment 4

Nachiketa 4

Continued

Power could demolish in a moment what strength had created over those few years of understanding with love and succour. Nachiketa sobbed silently as he looked at this man who was his father, this man who was performing the ritual, supremely unconcerned about what he was sacrificing so long as he believed that it was going to give him something in return. After all, he was giving away what belonged to him.

Nachiketa looked meaninglessly into the blazing, dancing flames of the altar-fire. All his dreams, his inner sanctuary, everything in it was set ablaze. Nothing belonged to him. All his childlike desires were reduced to ashes. What was he then? Did he belong to himself? Or did he belong to his father?

He tugged at his father’s shawl and said, “Father, do I belong to you?”

“Yes”, there came the authoritarian answer, and then the usual reprimand: “Stop questioning!”

Nachiketa wondered at this mighty power which took away from him even the right to question. How was he to understand the meaning of this if even his questions did not belong to him? How was he to know unless he asked? Now everything depended on the answer to this question at that moment.  Did he belong to himself? If he belonged to himself he would know the meaning of this all.  He would know the meaning of silence. But if he belonged to his father what was he? Like a mirror, Nachiketa’s pure consciousness reflected a strange likeness between himself and the cow. And suddenly an inexorable logic took possession of his mind.  The cow seemed to know her lot in life. She had accepted it meekly. Will he be able to accept it? No. He must know who was going to claim him. He tugged at his father’s shawl again and asked him the question that held in balance all that mattered to him.

“Father, who are you going to give me to?”

“Nachiketa, stop questioning.”

“No, Father, please tell me. I must know.”

At this his father brushed him aside and said, “Go away from here. Don’t be a nuisance, or I will give you away to Yama.”

“But oh, why Father? Am I of no use to you?”

His father, who was too busy to understand the loaded meaning of the question, turned his attention to the instructions being given to him by the priest of the ceremony at that moment. He threw a glance at Nachiketa in exasperation and said heedlessly, “Oh, I have no use for you and your questions. Yes, I have given you away to Yama. Now that’s the answer. Go away from here.”