Yashodhara and Siddhartha---the Prince who became Buddha, the Enlightened

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Sushama Karnik

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Yashodhara and Siddharha-- Who became Buddha, the Enlightened

That was the night of a cold embrace
as though a shadow, not a spirit hovered over my body
fearful of touch and speech..
Not a word was spoken as you left
in the dead of the night as I slumbered by in the night
bewitched by a  secret spell that destiny cast upon me.

The magical river called Time
floated with me and my child
in her arms,
while you were treading a path
that beckoned you with an inexorable  certainty :
Yes, a certainty known  to me and recognized by you.
But it beckoned you like a star
as it struck me with the stark clarity of a doom.
Were you a pilgrim in search of peace and grace,
or a warrior of God caught in the battle between
 desire and lust?

That night had a dimension of an abysmal dark
because it revealed the word of a verdict you cast upon me and the child
and chose your freedom to walk alone.

I know the man in you had no hesitation
in walking away.
But did the father in you not linger in pain for the child that was born from the warmth of your loins?
O Prince who beggared us both
as you disappeared into the unscripted and unread saga of our life.,
I ask no questions and demand no answers.
A day might come when some hand I do not see and the language I cannot follow,
may reveal to me the meaning 'of why I was born
unto a sacrament of an oath
which was a burden to you and a redemption of an unknown curse for me.
Till then, silence will be my script and  scriptures will cover our truth.
O prince who abandoned  a child, abdicated a throne and dispelled the illusion of love for a wife.
I am trapped in silence
as you unravel the mystery of the sacred word.
Trishna is the cause of suffering, you said.
Trishna, the hunger and the thirst,
Trishna, the beguiling mystery of our misguided journey,
a misguided search for our roots and branches.
You axed the branches and walked away
leaving the roots in the soil without a succor.

I am waiting without a hope ,
but with a dumb wish that one day my saga too
will begin its tale and end in a reminder of a truth you will be reborn to explore.