Monday, 7 July 2014

Choose Not Part 3 To be contd



His questions appeared self-reflexive at first.
They would come out of the blue—surcharged,
But reach me like a target hit in the dark.

“Where is your journey leading to?”
He had asked me once.
I said, “I do not know. The path is not fully in view.”
And though he was quiet upon this
He seemed to know where the path was leading to.

After a while his response came, apparently vague,
But it carried an oracular certainty.
“What you are seeking is seeking you!”

At that moment I neither knew what I was seeking
Nor did I know
What it was that was seeking me and why.
A solitary traveler just walks ahead,
Heedless of who is walking beside.
But his voice and his presence
Were destined to
live alongside me
for a destined length of time
and a destined length of the route of the path.

“The light that had shone
Shines no longer on my path”,
I had said to him.
“The ripeness is all that stays behind”
I had added for the sake of clarity’
From his answer I realized that I was seeking the light
That had gone out of my world and plunged my path in the dark.

“It’s a way of life known to you
A full life-time ago.
It’s a forgotten path which was known to you”,
He had said.

And I knew; I had a vague remembrance
Of everything he was saying to me: about the path, and about the forgetting of it all…
And thereafter all that he said
Was about remembrance.
Somehow, I felt my presence in all that he was saying.

All that I knew perhaps a life-time ago as it were,
He was saying it all, once again, it seemed.
His songs were those of a solitary singer,
As if for whoever heard them and was ready to play them back to him.
But I had heard them all before.
The images he recalled were those of a life-time lived and left behind,
But I was in them all.
He was a creature of the European sky
And I was rooted in my Indian soil.
His Europe had gifted him with infinite freedom to soar as high as he wished.
My Indian shackles tied me down to the antiquity and the fixity of my soil.
I saw no way to reach out;
I was stifled for want of air,
And Time weighed me down.

The afternoon call for the mass-prayer
Coming from the nearby mosque
Gave me a feeling of the hopeless expanse
Of the poignant desert-winds, and the echoes in the dunes of sands.
My inhibitions—ingrown and killing—
Anguished me beyond the sense of pain.
It was a measureless length of time which had brought me to these pathless woods
Echoing with the sound of what was known to me all along
And stubbornly muffled and brushed away.

He was real and so was I.
It was neither a dream nor a virtual reality any longer.
It was oppressively real.
The call became persistent and time rode over it all
Like an imperceptible river that was rolling outward
Towards the ocean like a scroll.
To be contd


















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