I watched her keenly as she said those words with a facetious smile. But there was something sad behind that puckish smile. She was directing it at herself with a self-reflexive irony which I found rather painful in that moment.
"That would be a wrong option if you are thinking of it as a desperate choice," I said, trying not to look too solicitous about her future which after all ought not to have been a cause for worry for me.
She looked at me fencing off any further scrutiny from me.
It suddenly struck me that I ought to ask her why she had left abruptly after the discovery that I belonged to armed forces.
I had a vague feeling that in some enigmatic code of expectations I had betrayed an implicit trust. Did that revelation suddenly make me unreal to her?
At that moment, I found Charles looking at me with eagerness and urgency. I didn't quite notice how grown up he looked after the last meeting, I took his hand in mine and pulled him closer to me. He seemed to like the closeness and I could feel him breathing softly , inhaling perhaps the smell of my woolens.
I said softly and gently in his ears, "Let's talk. Oh yeah, will you show me the photograph of your dad once again?"
From Emma's expressions I could guess that Charles had silently sought her permission. Emma smiled as if in consent.
"That would be a wrong option if you are thinking of it as a desperate choice," I said, trying not to look too solicitous about her future which after all ought not to have been a cause for worry for me.
She looked at me fencing off any further scrutiny from me.
It suddenly struck me that I ought to ask her why she had left abruptly after the discovery that I belonged to armed forces.
I had a vague feeling that in some enigmatic code of expectations I had betrayed an implicit trust. Did that revelation suddenly make me unreal to her?
At that moment, I found Charles looking at me with eagerness and urgency. I didn't quite notice how grown up he looked after the last meeting, I took his hand in mine and pulled him closer to me. He seemed to like the closeness and I could feel him breathing softly , inhaling perhaps the smell of my woolens.
I said softly and gently in his ears, "Let's talk. Oh yeah, will you show me the photograph of your dad once again?"
From Emma's expressions I could guess that Charles had silently sought her permission. Emma smiled as if in consent.
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