Originally shared by Sushama Karnik
Another dim page from the old pages, white turned sepia, a letter from a friend of long ago, who has just disappeared without leaving a track,
and before it gets eaten up by moth I must give it some indelible space. Perhaps, the person may happen to read and respond.
Dear...
...I thought of dropping at your place before leaving Bombay but somehow could not squeeze time....
Guruji's classes must have been started but honestly speaking I am not mentally prepared to go through it. One day I woke up with a start, as I was doing namaskar at his feet; for some time I was baffled but then I felt perhaps I am feeling guilty subconsciously. Yesterday night while I was trying to get sleep by forcibly closing my eyes I saw a vertical column in sea-green colour and then while I was looking intently at it with inward eye it changed into pink colour and then to white and finally disappeared. While it disappeared I felt like opening my eyes. While I was seeing I had great pleasure just seeing it, but all this happened just for a few seconds, not even minutes. I could not figure out anything. While I wanted to see it again, in spite of great attempts I could not see it again;
it eluded me.
Today, right from the morning I am having an uneasy feeling perhaps connected with yesterday's seeing. I am trying to do everything normal. Something is hurting me at the back of my head. I know that I myself have to sort it out, perhaps I don't know how to express it clearly in words. The more I try to control myself, the more agitated and violent I become at the same time. I can't allow myself to behave as my feelings want to; that would be more damaging than the agitating feeling. Self-pity is one I don't want to pamper me with. The other day my branch-manager commented that I am like ketaki of chandan. Long back I stopped worrying about other's comments but it is at the back of my mind and at times follows me very badly.
I think let me end now. I have indulged myself too much and occupied much of your time. See you then till March 17.
Love...
I lost track of the person thereafter.
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Sushama Karnik
A lot of things do not work.
Walking alone by the alleys of the mountains did not help;
waking up out of dreams of rainbows discolours the waking eye;
leaving letters unanswered,
and you live forever with a hole in the heart;
my friend of long ago,
you left an uncanny dream for me to solve.
It bugged me for a few days and then
I shoved it down.
Nostalgia fills my vacant day
when out of a dusty file you spring up again.
A freak finding, an irrelevance to be sorted out and given a place again?
It wasn't an outstanding question back then,
Friends who have vanished without a trace
are the only ones who can crack the code.
22 June 2015
Another dim page from the old pages, white turned sepia, a letter from a friend of long ago, who has just disappeared without leaving a track,
and before it gets eaten up by moth I must give it some indelible space. Perhaps, the person may happen to read and respond.
Dear...
...I thought of dropping at your place before leaving Bombay but somehow could not squeeze time....
Guruji's classes must have been started but honestly speaking I am not mentally prepared to go through it. One day I woke up with a start, as I was doing namaskar at his feet; for some time I was baffled but then I felt perhaps I am feeling guilty subconsciously. Yesterday night while I was trying to get sleep by forcibly closing my eyes I saw a vertical column in sea-green colour and then while I was looking intently at it with inward eye it changed into pink colour and then to white and finally disappeared. While it disappeared I felt like opening my eyes. While I was seeing I had great pleasure just seeing it, but all this happened just for a few seconds, not even minutes. I could not figure out anything. While I wanted to see it again, in spite of great attempts I could not see it again;
it eluded me.
Today, right from the morning I am having an uneasy feeling perhaps connected with yesterday's seeing. I am trying to do everything normal. Something is hurting me at the back of my head. I know that I myself have to sort it out, perhaps I don't know how to express it clearly in words. The more I try to control myself, the more agitated and violent I become at the same time. I can't allow myself to behave as my feelings want to; that would be more damaging than the agitating feeling. Self-pity is one I don't want to pamper me with. The other day my branch-manager commented that I am like ketaki of chandan. Long back I stopped worrying about other's comments but it is at the back of my mind and at times follows me very badly.
I think let me end now. I have indulged myself too much and occupied much of your time. See you then till March 17.
Love...
I lost track of the person thereafter.
Shared to extended circles•View activity
Sushama Karnik's profile photo
Sushama Karnik
A lot of things do not work.
Walking alone by the alleys of the mountains did not help;
waking up out of dreams of rainbows discolours the waking eye;
leaving letters unanswered,
and you live forever with a hole in the heart;
my friend of long ago,
you left an uncanny dream for me to solve.
It bugged me for a few days and then
I shoved it down.
Nostalgia fills my vacant day
when out of a dusty file you spring up again.
A freak finding, an irrelevance to be sorted out and given a place again?
It wasn't an outstanding question back then,
Friends who have vanished without a trace
are the only ones who can crack the code.
22 June 2015
Another dim page from the old pages, white turned sepia, a letter from a friend of long ago, who has just disappeared without leaving a track,
and before it gets eaten up by moth I must give it some indelible space. Perhaps, the person may happen to read and respond.
Dear...
...I thought of dropping at your place before leaving Bombay but somehow could not squeeze time....
Guruji's classes must have been started but honestly speaking I am not mentally prepared to go through it. One day I woke up with a start, as I was doing namaskar at his feet; for some time I was baffled but then I felt perhaps I am feeling guilty subconsciously. Yesterday night while I was trying to get sleep by forcibly closing my eyes I saw a vertical column in sea-green colour and then while I was looking intently at it with inward eye it changed into pink colour and then to white and finally disappeared. While it disappeared I felt like opening my eyes. While I was seeing I had great pleasure just seeing it, but all this happened just for a few seconds, not even minutes. I could not figure out anything. While I wanted to see it again, in spite of great attempts I could not see it again;
it eluded me.
Today, right from the morning I am having an uneasy feeling perhaps connected with yesterday's seeing. I am trying to do everything normal. Something is hurting me at the back of my head. I know that I myself have to sort it out, perhaps I don't know how to express it clearly in words. The more I try to control myself, the more agitated and violent I become at the same time. I can't allow myself to behave as my feelings want to; that would be more damaging than the agitating feeling. Self-pity is one I don't want to pamper me with. The other day my branch-manager commented that I am like ketaki of chandan. Long back I stopped worrying about other's comments but it is at the back of my mind and at times follows me very badly.
I think let me end now. I have indulged myself too much and occupied much of your time. See you then till March 17.
Love...
I lost track of the person thereafter.
and before it gets eaten up by moth I must give it some indelible space. Perhaps, the person may happen to read and respond.
Dear...
...I thought of dropping at your place before leaving Bombay but somehow could not squeeze time....
Guruji's classes must have been started but honestly speaking I am not mentally prepared to go through it. One day I woke up with a start, as I was doing namaskar at his feet; for some time I was baffled but then I felt perhaps I am feeling guilty subconsciously. Yesterday night while I was trying to get sleep by forcibly closing my eyes I saw a vertical column in sea-green colour and then while I was looking intently at it with inward eye it changed into pink colour and then to white and finally disappeared. While it disappeared I felt like opening my eyes. While I was seeing I had great pleasure just seeing it, but all this happened just for a few seconds, not even minutes. I could not figure out anything. While I wanted to see it again, in spite of great attempts I could not see it again;
it eluded me.
Today, right from the morning I am having an uneasy feeling perhaps connected with yesterday's seeing. I am trying to do everything normal. Something is hurting me at the back of my head. I know that I myself have to sort it out, perhaps I don't know how to express it clearly in words. The more I try to control myself, the more agitated and violent I become at the same time. I can't allow myself to behave as my feelings want to; that would be more damaging than the agitating feeling. Self-pity is one I don't want to pamper me with. The other day my branch-manager commented that I am like ketaki of chandan. Long back I stopped worrying about other's comments but it is at the back of my mind and at times follows me very badly.
I think let me end now. I have indulged myself too much and occupied much of your time. See you then till March 17.
Love...
I lost track of the person thereafter.
2
14
- ~ and you live forever with a hole in the heart;
my friend of long ago,~
Ohh, I truly felt this in my heart dear friend ..
Sending Smiles & hugsREPLY 45w - 45w
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